Ladies and Gentlemen, The Moslems Are Coming.

Very kicked to be on 'The Moslems Are Coming' blog tour, and in keeping with Optimum Blog Etiquette, I'm belting out a short, one-glance summary of my thoughts on Azad Essa's new book.

'Indian soldiers repeatedly mistook my good looks for that of a local Kashmiri.' Haha.

Angry Essa. Such an angry young man. The whole collection of essays in The Moslems reads in a vein of hello-there-irreverent-cynical-almost-rage. As a young Muslim woman, completely wrapped in the cocoon of ideal, romanticised, perfect Islam, and whining about how, 'No, no, this is not what Islam really is,' this read has been a refreshing smack in the jowls.

Sure there's a lot I disagree with [tone mostly: "My God, how can he say that?!!"], but really, one needed to step out of the easily-outraged mold one has been cast into. Enough of placing everything on a pedestal; let's talk smack at a lot of things, throw it open to criticism and mockery, as it were.

Once I got that into my system, it was smooth reading.

The Moslems is a collection of several of Azad's previously published and unpublished works, off his blog and umm, other places [yes, I've researched this really well], and is the Indian edition of his previously published Zuma's Bastards. It covers Azad's experiences with racism, Islamophobia, classism, hypocrisy and other relatively current affairs across the globe [the World Cup in SA, the Arab Spring. As a South African of Indian ethnicity, it was very interesting for me to read his take on Indians in South Africa and the social dynamics within that community, SA Indian Muslims and the diaspora there.

All the chapters in the book are not Moslems-Are-Coming!-related, don't worry. That's just a clever trick to get you to buy the book in the first place. [Aside: Love the cover.]

There's substantial bits on Africa-specific issues, its politics, its untold or severely under-reported horror, and about South Africa in particular, which I was previously clueless about. But, without getting too heavy to read/understand, Azad takes you on a lite-skim ride of his opinions on all these topics. I was lost amidst all the unfamilar names and places, but no so lost that I had to stop reading. [It was also slightly embarrassing that I had no clue about a very significant part of the world. NO CLUE.] 

What I enjoyed especially were Azad's scathing satire pieces, 'Shape without drape: Muslim fashion du jour' [on the burqa ban in France] and 'The brown woman's burden' [on the social dynamics among Indian men and women and the hypocritical racism towards black Africans over and above everything else]. Written in a deadpan tone of reportage, a lot of people actually think Azad's being serious whereas of course, if you have an iota of common sense, you can see what he's doing. [Refer: 'satire'.]

The first section of the book jumps right into the Islamophobia theme, and I found myself cringing, nodding my head and sighing along to various passages. In the burqa-ban satire piece, Azad's dislike of the burqa is made clear. Then again, that's not the point. Like he says: 'I don't like the burqa. Europe doesn't like the burqa. But so what?'

I liked the close to the section as well:

'In spite of being Muslim, and therefore naturally biased in any non-Muslim's eyes, I should be entitled to scream Islamophobia from the rooftops when I encounter it, and I should be able to talk about it in an open forum without sounding like an evil, brainwashed caricature from a bad movie throwing a jihadist tantrum.' 

Saheeh, bro. Just so.

And now we jump to my favourite section of the book, that pertaining to Kashmir. Remember, Azad is NOT Kashmiri. He is Indian by ethnicity, but really he's just South African. 

'I have no allegiance with a teenager made permanently blind from birdshot in Baramullah any more than I have with the ordinary office worker who gets blown up by a bunch of rabid jihadists while commuting in a packed train in Bombay. Likewise, I don't care for an illiterate father left humiliated in front of his sons as he awaits help to fill up an immigration form on a border crossing with any less intensity than for a half-widow in Anantnag, who must go on living in limbo, unsure if her husband would come back dead or alive, if ever.'

'India, Pakistan or Azadi?' is really the crux of the Kashmir 'issue' is it not? ~ No, it isn't because in Kashmir there will never be straightforward answers and I can give you three different replies to the same question on three different days. Well, sort of.

So, anyway. Azad has, as opposed to a lot of non-Kashmiris writing loud, very certain pieces about Kashmir, actually visited the place and written about some of his first-hand experiences there, and the opinions he has built therefrom. Now, any fella broadcasting the relatively unpalatable truths about Kashmir, so well-brushed-under the Indian mainstream media's rendering of the Kashmir narrative, is a friend of mine. I pat Azad on the back. I thank him. As a Kashmiri, this section of the book reads like the obvious truth all of us living here know, but for some strange, infuriating reason, no one in the outside world cares too much.

Azad writes about the questions of Kashmiri identity, how it was growing up there during the 'bad years', state high-handedness, well-documented reports of gross human rights violations, enforced disappearances, legal impunity, and the new generation of Kashmiris that are slowly gearing up to use new media as a tool to open the world's eyes to what Kashmir is all about. He touches upon the Bollywood Kashmir depiction, which all of us [Kashmiris] roll our eyes at. The chapter on cricket bats and Kashmiri willows is interesting, especially seeing as how politics plays a part there as well. Am pretty certain the chapter on Kashmiri Pandits will not go down well with most Indian readers. Okay, the WHOLE section will not go down well in that corner. 

[Aside: As a true blue Kashmiri, I was lapping up all experiences from his essays on the Arab Spring, and applying to the situation in Kashmir. * REVOLUTION! PEOPLE POWER!* Because we do shit like that. Everything can be made Kashmir-specific.]

I really enjoyed The Moslems Are Coming as a pacy read covering a range of topics that interested me, and that I could relate to: Islam[ophobia], racism, hypocrisy, power politics, Kashmir, India, Palestine-Israel, Bollywood, cricket, the World Cup.

Azad's angry, rambling, acerbic style takes getting used to [which, when done by Page 4, makes the rest of the reading easier.] Once I had pinpointed the tone of the book, it was on to enjoying the pieces for their individual merit.

This is not a feel-good book, for rainy afternoons, a quilt and coffee and marshmallows for accompaniment. It makes you uncomfortable, it addresses issues you've all probably thought about more than once, and it certainly makes no bones about highlighting certain things and people and situations as they are. 'Warts and all' is what you'll get. 

I took into account Azad's hyperbole and OTT-isms because there's some of that as well. And at times my hands would rush to my blushing cheeks, thinking: "Mein Gott. He uses the f-word! He said 'whore'. And 'penis'. And 'other things! AAAIIEEE!" [Okay, not really. I don't blush while reading.] 

PS: This post was really not as short as it was meant to be.
PPS: Azad, when are you signing my book?

Kashmiri Muzaks

Confession: Kashmiri songs used to bore me growing up, because I couldn't understand what them mellow singers were singing. Also, the tunes, lyrics and instruments were very, umm, let's say not exactly world-changing. 
Happily my hearing has improved, and my understanding of the language as well. Also have started listening to some fine new talent recently, thanks to an uncle and his musical pals.
There's Naseem Ul Haq of Doda, also known as 'Raju', a young singer with a sweet voice and good compositions. I love that the lyrics are so non-typical. Very Gulzar in a Kashmiri setting. [No, really.]


Mamujaan has just been introduced to Windows MovieMaker, so he's putting up videos of Kashmiri songs- with subtitles. I find subs help.
Here's one of my favourites - 'Azti Gae' / 'Even Today'.

Let me work on a translation for this beautiful song. Will post soon.


In the meanwhile, recommend you subscribe to zamalik5811 on YouTube. He means to upload truckloads of these. Joy!

Glory Days

India's thrilling, tear-inducing, goose-bumping gold medal win at the CWG 2010's 4x400m Women's Relay event.


Utter fantasticness. Wooo hooo! You know the result before-hand, but does that take away from the adrenaline rush? :) Nope.

Well done, Manjeet Kaur, Sini Jose, Ashwini Chidananda Akkunji and Mandeep Kaur. These lovely ladies finished the race in 3:27.77 seconds, bringing in India's first ever track gold for women at the Games. Way back in 1958, the 'Flying Sikh' Milkha Singh took the gold in the men's 400m at the Cardiff Games. There has been no other track gold for India at the Games.

Tripping on Arabic Pop

That's what I've been doing these past few days.
Primary reason being my unhealthy love for the language that is Arabic, with its depth, poetry, romance, and heavy throatiness.
The other being, it is good music. I don't listen to popular Angrezi music much because that often inspires me to attempt to kill myself, but Arabic pop is fun, fun, fun.
But I am a dilettante fan. Have no real knowledge of real great Arab greats. A cursory Google search lands me the usual suspects: Amr Diab, Nancy Ajram, Elissa, Khaled, Ramsy etc. Amr Diab of course seems to be the ishtaar of the lot, and has been since my school days.
In any case, that's my trip currently. And a few important observations after YouTubing Arabic music videos:
1. These modern vids are classy, shot very nicely.
2. The women are gorgeous.
3. The men are gorgeous.


Here's Nancy Ajram with 'Enta Eih'. English subs for your viewing pleasure.

Enjoy.

Sunitha Krishnan: Anti-trafficking Crusader

Here's Sunitha Krishnan, a gutsy, straight-talking, inspiring lady, with something worth listening to. The horrors of sexual trafficking, especially young children, and the social stigmas attached to it. Stigma for the victims sadly.

PACHELBEL - CANON IN D MAJOR

Fantastic version of one of my favourite classical pieces of all time I found on YouTube: Pachelbel's Canon. Have copy-pasted entire sidebar information for this video. Lots of interesting points about the playing technique.

Johann Pachelbel's beautiful interweaving of melody & harmony--one of the great works of music!
Soundtrack at
http://tinyurl.com/PachelbelVideo
Performed on original instruments by Voices of Music. Featuring Katherine Kyme, Carla Moore & Cynthia Freivogel, baroque violin; Tanya Tomkins, baroque cello, Hanneke van Proosdij, baroque organ; David Tayler, theorbo.
About the performance: the canon is played using not only the instruments but also the bowing techniques from the time of Pachelbel. As you can see from the video, especially if you look at the high definition version, the string instruments are not only baroque, but they are in baroque setup: this means that the strings, fingerboard, bridge and other parts of the violin appear just as they did in Pachelbel's time. No metal hardware such as chinrests, clamps or fine tuners are used on the violins, allowing the violins to vibrate freely. A good example of baroque bowing can be seen in the extended passage of repeated notes: the musicians play these notes on one bow—the shorter & lighter baroque bow—to created a gliding effect. The players also hold the bow very differently which affects the balance and touch. Both the style and the amount of vibrato are based on baroque treatises which describe the methods for playing, bowing & articulation in the late 17th century. The narrow, shimmering vibrato blends with the baroque organ. The organ used is made entirely of wood, based on German baroque instruments, and the pipes are voiced to provide a smooth accompaniment to the strings, instead of a more soloistic sound. The large bass lute, or theorbo, provides a complement to the organ not only in the texture of the chords but also the long strings which occasionally sound the bass notes an octave lower. The continuo players play supporting chords and voices to the canon, carefully avoiding parallels and doublings of the parts.
Another feature of the video is the subtle differences in not only the sound and color of the instruments, but also the different techniques of the players. All three are playing baroque violins with baroque bows, yet each person has her own distinct sound and bowing style—each bow has a different shape and balance. If you look at paintings of 17th century players you will see that they are all different, because that individuality of sound and technique was highly valued. This allows the players and the listeners to hear and appreciate the "Voices of Music."

Dhoop Kinaray - At the Edge of the Sun

Have been on a Pakistani serial watching spree these past few days. Just re-watched Dhoop Kinaray, one of the several brilliant dramas that PTV churned out during its Golden Age, and am absolutely gushing forth with its praises again, which is what happens every time I watch it.Everything about this drama is classic. From its novel concept, gripping story line and fabulously well-written dialogues and characters, to its au naturel direction, its brilliant casting, and immediately identifiable soundtrack - the whole is even better than the sum of all its parts.
Let's start with the essentials.
1. Story/script: Thank you Haseena Moin, you wonderful, wonderful woman. One look at Moin's writing credits (Ankahi, Aahat, Tanhaiyaan, Zer Zabar Paish, Dhund, Dhoop Kinaray etc.) and you have but an idea of her creative calibre and mastery over Urdu. *standing ovation*
Focussing on just Dhoop Kinaray for the anon...
An exceptional, convincing and very well-told romantic story between a frothy, lovable, beautiful young medical intern (Zoya) and her much-older, very hot, sullen, no-nonsense, broody, intelligent and totally awesome boss, a pediatrician of some note (Dr Ahmer) . Throw in a smorgasbord of fantastic supporting characters (Baba, Anji, Dr Irfan, Fazeelat, the other interns etc.) and an evil-psycho-hateful-type vamp like you won't believe (Dr Sheena: Yukh thoooo!) and you have all the ingredients that Haseena Moin used to make DK a work of art beyond compare.
Did I mention the pace of this drama? It speeds along from start to finish like that *snaps fingers* and when the story concludes at just the right time, you feel a twinge of regret that it's all ended too soon. THAT'S the mark of a good writer, what?

2. Direction: Directed by Rahat Kazmi's/Dr Ahmer's real-life wife, Saira Kazmi. Was watching a random video off YouTube where she was explaining how she was all about realistic drama and a natural style of story-telling. Hey, Saira, we believe you. Absolutely. Well done, I say.

3. Casting: In terms of casting, I don't think any televised drama has ever since, or ever will, get it this right.
-Rahat Kazmi as Dr Ahmer: Drool factor 10/10;
-Marina Khan as Dr Zoya: Beautiful, fun, innocent and extremely lovable as female protagonist - every young girl wanted to be her;
-Sajid Hasan as Dr Irfan: I want one to go, please... My God, Dr Irfan's hilarious character is everyone's favourite memory of DK;
-Kehkashaan Awaz as the sweet Anji, Zoya's childhood friend and neighbour;
-The acid spewing Dr Sheena, played by Badar Khalil- DIE DIE DIE! Has anyone ever managed to play a character so universally hateful and psyched? Even her unfortunate ABBA hairdo makes you want to scalp her;
-Zoya's adorable father Baba, played by Qazi Wajid. *grin*
-Fazeelat: Zoya's aaya since forever; a loud, abrasive and extremely loving, paan-chewing harridan who is the proverbial coconut - hard on the outside, soft inside.

All the actors were catapulted to superstardom after Dhoop Kinaray, if they weren't established as top-of-the-league already.
Here's a classic bit from Dhoop Kinaray. It's the beginning of the story, we see Dr Ahmer (hubba hubba) leading his interns on rounds, and Dr Zoya goofing up and irking the hell out of him. *flashback to own college gaffes*

4. Soundtrack: DK has an eminently hummable soundtrack. Ghazals by Nayyara Noor, poetry by Faiz Ahmad Faiz. I've been humming the background music stupidly for days now. Even to put my baby nephew to sleep. He's six months old and then some, but he gets it.
Here's a good link to Dhoop Kinaray's soundtrack. It's got MP3s, lyrics, translations and videos.

And now a video of the most grin-inducing romantic bit from the whole series... the bit where the two docs go gallivanting on a field trip and we as audiences pee our pants in anticipation of all the romance that will follow. "HE HOLDS HER HAND!" OMG OMG OMG! This was a very big deal in Pakistani dramas, okay? Ha ha. Lyrics (by Faiz) as follows:
Raat yoon dil mein teri khoee hui yaad aaye
Jaise veeraane mein chhupke se bahaar aa jaaye;
Jaise sehraaon mein haule se chale baad-e-naseem;
Jaise beemaar ko be-wajhaa qaraar aa jaaye.

5. Style Statement: Dhoop Kinaray oozes in sophistication and style, whether it's sartorial or cultural or verbal. Class will tell, is what I always say.
The clothes the characters wear in this series were the height of fashion then. I promise, they were. Our family (and all salwar-kameez wearing folk everywhere I suppose) always used to take the lead from PTV's contemporary dramas in terms of fashion trends. What they wore, we wore. (This is not true anymore. What they wear on PTV nowadays, I could never wear. Too little textile used and full length salwars and sleeves seem to be a thing of the past. But wait! This is neither here nor there.)
And then the depiction of family life, the tehzeeb, the beauty of well-spoken Urdu, the shaairi mixed in with everyday dialogue - most endearing about Pakistani dramas...
Even the hair styles, yes, even them! They were oh-so-cool back then. (Coincidentally, I had Zoya Khan's boy-cut all my girlhood days. Also known as the Princess Diana cut. *blush*)

Anyway. To cut a long story short, Dhoop Kinaray is aces. Those of you who haven't watched, start downloading all episodes from YouTube or just go to the many online sources and buy the original DVD. Absolutely worth it, since it's so cheap. About USD 20 or so.

When I look at the tripe that calls itself 'drama' on channels today (especially Indian tele-serials.... gaaah!...) laughing alone does not satisfy. I need to point AND laugh. Which I do, before changing channels very, very fast.

Allama Iqbal's 'Lab Pa Aati Hai Dua'

This most famous nazm of the great poet Allama Iqbal is a very common prayer in many Indian and Pakistani schools. Haji Public School, Breswana, is no exception. Unlike most of Iqbal's poetry, this is in really simple, beautiful Urdu, easy for everyone to understand.

Here's a preferred rendition by some kid called Siza Roy. Lyrics with translation provided in the YouTube video.


PS: Must make special mention of my kids who absolutely do not follow this tune. They have their own take on the music that should accompany this prayer.:)

HAJI PUBLIC SCHOOL - Day 1

As promised, the Haji Public School, Breswana, came to life on Monday, May 4, 2009.
Can't tell you how nice it was to see the little kids walk in in their new uniforms and shiny faces. Some kids haven't bought their uniforms yet so they were in their old light-blue-on-navy-blue Govt School uniforms or in colour-colour-which-colour home clothes.

Here's one of the teachers, Mohd Din, leading the lovely kids in a Urdu prayer. Very famous number this throughout Jammu and Kashmir. 'Lab pe aati hai dua' and so on and so forth.


Did you see that cool kid at the end? Too much only. There are many more....
More pics soon.

So commercial, yaaaa

Some Indian commercials over the years that I really liked:

1. The Limca Ad: Last year's O&M Limca offering: Sushma Reddy, Niketan Madhok and very, very lovely track. "Fuhaare, pohchaahre...".
Who is the singer, ma? This here blog, What An Advertise-Meant? has all the answers.


2. The Happy Dent ad: You know. THAT one. McKann Erickson gave us this treat. Rajasthan, dusk, palace grounds, vintage car, silly tennis in saree, Thakur in dining room and....lights! Hilarious, great concept. Esp. loved the disco lights bit. ;)
And again, superb music.
(Mera dil roshan, mera mann roshan...Toh jahaaaaaaaaaan roshannn....)


Wha-heyyyy, remember their earlier ad? Ismail Studios? Har har de har.

3. Hutch/Vodafone ads. Most of them are just plain nice. Actually decided on my first mobile connection based on the advertising. Meaning, Hutch beat Airtel like anything. I only found out later that wherever I went their network didn't really follow, but... Oh, guess what? These ones have great music as well. I'm seeing a trend.

4. Amul: Utterly, Butterly Fun Commercials.

5. Doodh, doodh, doodh, doodh, wonderful doodh! Love that.

6. Orbit chingum: With Dr Batavadekar was it? Mmmmppffff. How Orbit changed his life! And ours. ("White, white, Orbit white. It does not rhyme, but it's troooo.")

7. Cadbury's ads but without any trace of Amitabh Bachchan/Cyrus/other 'celebs'. I cannot stress this last part too much. The all-time favourite ad with the cricket match/girl trespassing onto field. Even the mehndi ad is nice.

8. Coca Cola and Aamir Khan: Fantastic series of ads some years ago. His 'paanch ka chhaap', the tapori ad and the Hyderabadi one. Nuts.

9. Eve-teasing ad on Aaj Tak: The old gentleman is kickass. The bleddy loafarrs are too.

10. Channel [V] 'Wear a Helmet' ad: Biker dude and "Born to be wiiiiiiiiiiiild!" track. Then, splat.
Also, their 'Brought to you Bai' series.

11. H-H-H-H-Heinz... Haahahahhaha. Have a watch:


Must be more. Can't remember now.

MR INDIA – A masterpiece for all time

So, I was watching this fantastic piece of work the other day. AGAIN. Obviously this was one of my childhood favourites but I missed a million things back then. Every repeat viewing of Shekhar Kapur's 1987 cult classic Mr India always throws up brilliant new hilarities for me.

Here are a few points, characters, writing angles I loved (some of which I didn't really notice earlier):
1. Calendar, the cook- His character is decidedly and brilliantly gay! Satish Kaushik is so bleddy wonderful with his subtle nuances. Love the scene where he goes to Lala Roopchand's ration shop and makes eyes at him. Calendar's role is great: underplayed, loveable and no-nonsense in his domain. (To the embarrassing KJo-SRK-Saif school of ‘humour’ where homosexuality is just another tasteless joke: Take a lesson.)

2. Annu Kapoor as Mr Gaitonde, the frazzled editor of... wait for it!.... CRIMES OF INDIA. Hahahahahahaaa. Love it when we get to Sridevi's (Yayyy! My fave!) intro scene. Annu Kappoor asks his clerk/assistant/somesuch where she is... by making a really quick gesture indicating a plump woman. Oh, boy, that cracked me up. Gaitonde meeting Mr India is to-die-for.

3. The brilliant, brilliant Sridevi. Unabashedly and refreshingly "healthy-figured", as they say in Khosla Ka Ghosla, fantastic at comedy, and of course, a standard sultry segment in saree as per director's orders. Sri Scenes to die for: Barely able to stand Mr Gaitonde at work. Eating fresh fruit off her fruit-hat as Ms Hawa Hawaii just before the mad, mad song. As Charlie Chaplin in the unfriendly neighbourhood gambling adda. Totally infuriated with the kids at home. Heart-breaking when the poor rascals are hungry. And so on and so forth.

3. Absolutely love the ultimate badass of Hindi cinema, our favourite megalomaniac Mogambo, in his black breeches and gold trimmings. Not to mention the unfortunate strawberry-blonde hairdo with curl on forehead. "Mogambo khush huaaaa!" with big, big eyes. And, "Hail Mogambo!" screaming his lackeys. Too much. Amrish Puri was a superstar.

4. The names of Mogambo's henchmen and other assorted baddies. Here we are: Dr Foo Man Chu, Captain Zorro (but pronounced Zoh-roh), Daaga, Teja, Mr Wolcott. Tee heee, titter.

5. Arun Bhaiyya – Anil Kapoor’s sweet fiddler with the beige-brown ensemble and floppy hat. I think I’ve loved him ever since. (Yes, even in disasters like Roop Ki Rani, No Entry and Welcome.) Him and bhabhi Sri make a great couple, nein? That doesn’t sound right but it’s true.

6. All the kids. Esp. little Ahmed Khan. And Tina, the little babe who is lost to us. Nooooooo!!!! Tear-jerker only that scene is.

6. The top item on any kid’s wishlist – an invisibility formula! Or, as they keep on saying in this film: ‘faarmyoolaah’. Big red-blue-gold flashing blingy watch-like apparatus though it was, it worked! I tell you, it worked...

7. Snappy, fun dialogue throughout the film. Like matter of fact exchanges between Arun and Calendar where Arun explains to the chubby cook that there is a fine line between sleeping and dying. Gaitonde meeting Mr India, but of course.

8. Wonderful music by Laxmikant-Pyarelal. (And background score too.) ‘Zindagi ki yehi reet hai,’ the fun parody song with the kids and Sridevi, and the most amazing song of all time….. ‘HAWA HAWAII’! Wait, this song deserves an independent mention.

9. HAWA HAWAII: The magnificent piece de resistance of Mr India. Bringing a smile, then a giggle and finally healthy guffaws to thousands of amused viewers over the years. Kavita Krishnamurti and Sridevi dazzle in this, the funniest Hindi song of all-time. Am putting the video and lyrics up. Enjoy. Took a fair bit of trouble transcribing.

The choreography is kidney-splitting good. Sri slaps, Sri expressions, the backup dancers’ reactions, the costumes, the words…. Mmmmpppfffff. *applause*



Hawa Hawaii

(Sri appears in extreme bling gold, crown and all)

HAWA HAWAII!
Ah, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui. [Ample backside wiggle]
HAWA HAWAII!
Ah, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui! [Nutty expressions!!]

Priceless INTRO: (Check out Sri’s face throughout!)
Cheeee-hawwwwwww….
Aaahhhhh, Honoluluuuuuu, [batting lids]
Loo-loo-loo-loooooo, Honoluluuuuu….
Hing-pickeee, Hong Kong, King Kong… [extreme melodrama]
I see Lucy, you see Lucyyyyyy
Assi tussi Lassi pisiiiii [dance-walk and a quick-jerk flourish with mike]
Mombasaaaa…… Ping pong…..! [THAT face]

Ooi, ooi, ooi, ooi, ooi, ooi, ooi.


Laki chiki laki chiki, chiki laki choom
Rrrrup chiki laki chiki, chiki laki chiki choom
Laki chiki laki chiki, chiki laki choom
Rrrrup chiki laki chiki, chiki laki chiki choom

Main khwaabon ki shahzaadi,
Main hoon har dil pe chhaayi! (2)
Baadal hain meri zulfen,
Bijli meri angdaai

Fantastic CHORUS:
Bijli giraane main hoon aai!
Ho, bijli giraane main hoon aai!
Kehte hain mujhko: Hawa Hawaii (Hawa Hawaii!) [Feathers up nose]
Hawa Hawaii (Hawa Hawaii!)
Hawa Hawaii, Hawa Hawaiiiiii! (ooooh-oooh-oooh-oooh)
[Sri swings around, slaps backing dancers and apologises – FUNNNEEE!]
(Repeat CHORUS)

[Costume change: Greco-Roman-esque dress, but with bling intact. Backing dancers in fantastic fluorescent polystyrene tribal gear]

Zum zum zum zum

Samjhe kya ho naadaanon? (Zum zum zum zum)
Mujhko bholi na jaanon (Zum zum zum zum)
Main hu saanpon ki raani, [Weirdass snake move]
Kaanta maange na paani,
Saagar se moti chheenoon,
Deepak se jyoti chheenoon, [cigar steal]
Patthar se aag laga loon, [nutso face again]
Seene se raaz chura loon,
Haan! Chura loon, chura loon, [Messing with bad guy Wolcott]
Haan haan chura loon (rum pum pum pum)

Jeeno jo tumne baat chhupaai
Ho, jaanoon jo tumne baat chhupaai
Kehte hain mujhko: Hawa Hawaii (Hawa Hawaii!)
Hawa Hawaii (Hawa Hawaii!)
Hawa Hawaii, Hawa Hawaiiiiii! (ooooh-oooh-oooh-oooh)
Bijli giraane main hoon aai!
Kehte hain mujhko: Hawa Hawaii [Fanning self to indicate ‘Hawa’]

Chiki laki chiki, chiki laki choom
Rrrrup chiki laki chiki, chiki laki chiki choom
Puck chiki laki chiki, chiki laki choom
Rrrrup chiki laki chiki, chiki laki chiki choom

[SLO-MO DANCE Sequence!!! Followed by staccato Mediterranean dance bit.
Background dancers have now morphed into habshis with harem pants and sleeveless waistcoats. Sri in gaudy ‘80s splendour.]

[Bum shake again]
Zum zum zum zum

Laai rangeen afasaane (Zum zum zum zum)
Tu bhi sunle, deevaane (Zum zum zum zum)
Aa dil mein halchal kar doon
Aa tujhko paagal kar doon
Meri aankhon mein jaadu
Meri saanson mein kushboo [Heaving chest and all]
Jab mera ye tan lachke [falls back and misses bad guy]
Jaaye na koi bachke
Koi bachke, bachke, bachke, [Messing with bad guy]
Haan haan ji bachke (rum pum pum pum)

Soorat hi maine aisi paai [Cross-eyed funs]
Ho, soorat hi maine aisi paai, [wave dance!!!]
Kehte hain mujhko: Hawa Hawaii (Hawa Hawaii!)
Hawa Hawaii (Hawa Hawaii!)
Hawa Hawaii, Hawa Hawaiiiiii! (ooooh-oooh-oooh-oooh)
Bijli giraane main hoon aai! [nonsense pointing here and there]
Ho, bijli giraane main hoon aai!
Kehte hain mujhko: Hawa Hawaii (Hawa Hawaii!) [Fanning self]
Hawa Hawaii (Hawa Hawaii!)
Hawa Hawaii, Hawa Hawaiiiiii! (ooooh-oooh-oooh-oooh)

HAWA HAWAII!
Oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui! [Head weaving]
HAWA HAWAII!
Oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui!]
HAWA HAWAII!
Oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui! [Egyptian move meets disaster]
HAWA HAWAII!
Oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui! [Hands in a twist]

[Ridiculous dance moves till final slap by Bad Guy]

Hurrahs, and well done.

Bush: It's Shoe Time!

What a pick-me-up on the news yesterday. The whole family laughed deep and loud from our bellies after a long-time.
Iraqi journo Muntadar al-Zaidi (Saab singing "Tu mera hero hai..." to man on left) let loose two good ones but Monkey Man dodged both. Damn. Maybe someone else can try elsewhere. A new trend has begun!
(Can you imagine what Bush will now feel before taking the podium at any press conference? As if he wasn't shifty-looking enough already.)

Anyway, here's the video. Enjoy.

Moooahahahahaaaaa...

Was reminded today by Pinkah about this insanely funny cow video, and how we had enjoyed it back in 2005, at DigiCaptions.
Presenting "Cows With Guns." Enjoy.

Hyaahhahaa @ 'Bad Cow Pun'.



Credits:
Music by Dana Lyons
Copyright 1996 Lyons Brothers Music (BMI)
(http://www.cowswithguns.com)
Animation by Bjorn-Magne Stuesol
(http://www.shagrat.net)

Non sequitir

Apropos of nothing, two of my favourite songs in the world, both featuring on the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack. (Which is also my favourite TV show, along with House MD. So now everyone knows I am not a doctor.)
The first one, Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, I heard a couple of years ago at work. Along with the Grey's video. Left me nice and glum.


And then there's this one I picked up just a few days ago. It's an interesting video off YouTube.
This a Joseph Arthur composition, In the Sun, but I love Michael Stipes-Coldplay's version. Here we go (the actual song starts at about 01:30):



Alternate videos: here and here.

*Wiping tears*

Musically Kinklined

Blog-maestro Kinkmino's little brother stars in Dhamaal, a product of the Pakistani band Overload. He's the young guy with the trimmed beard, chocolate shirt, butter T-shirt and regular jeans-pent. NO THIS IS NOT HIS PIC. That would be so obvious.
Little brother is playing all those dandy hand percussion instruments and pursing his lips and shaking his head in earnest enjoyment. Very nice! *seeeteeees*
(Get on You Tube and rate the video there. GO!)
Which one, you're still asking. No, not the drummer, not the keyboardist, not either of the horses, not the very wonderful Pappu Saeen [see right] on dhol. How very wonderful he looks in this pic.
I'm telling you, it's Hassan on the hand percussions. On rooftop even.
Kinky bhai, it must be said, he's the cutest.

Vote for Imran Khan! The Imandaar Khan!*

Who can blame me for falling in love with Pak cricket?


I don't get the Creed background music, but whatever.
If Imran becomes Pak prez, I think that will be the end of Indo-Pak hostilities. Who can NOT like the drooly Khan?

*Title edited on account of no one except the Great Kinky noticing my witty word-play. Pah. Kinkminos, tussi great ho. Val done, bwoiz.

Lola Boney M

Mooooaaahhhaaaahhaaaaaaa.
This is a hilarious video. Check out the very cool actor in the white robe. His expressions are pricless. [This post is esp for you, Chy.]

So, of course, it has been established that I love Lola Kutty and Ranvir-Vinay type nonsense humour. Do watch 'Ranvir, Vinay Aur Kaun' on Star One at 10pm daily. Sometimes it's really unbelievably laugh-out-loud.