Saturday, April 24, 2010

'Three Cups of Tea' is...

...before anything else, a New York Times Bestseller. So. Taking our cue from there...

Three Cups of Tea is Greg Mortenson's story (Greg Mortenson being the man behind Central Asia Institute- CAI) told badly with the help of David Oliver Relin.

It could have been a great book, because the story behind it is incredible. But it isn't.
And here, to tell you in her own hilarious words, is Lisa M and her review of 'Three Cups of Tea'.
I agree with everything Lisa said in her review (from 2008), and had a few more grouses with the proofing and glaringly inaccurate facts in parts of the book (for instance: In one anecdote, Relin repeatedly uses the word 'shalwar' when he is clearly talking about Mortenson's kameez. Very annoying as a reader. Makes you think is this book researched enough? Do the writers know what they are talking about?). Overall disturbing to read such a high profile title with simple mistakes. Makes one feel like we're being fed lines....
Anyway.
Some of my comments on the book:
I’m working with setting up schools in remote villages in Jammu & Kashmir myself, so I thought this book would be helpful in sorting out actual on-the-ground problems I come across (like how to go about proper documentation, registration with notoriously corrupt govt officials and bureaucratic departments, how to get good teachers to work and STAY in remote areas, duh, then supervise them, check the quality of teaching intermittently etc.) but nothing of the sort. The way Relin tells the story it was pretty smooth sailing for Greg like “I’m American so I can get airlifts from the Army” and instead of the actual schools and what went on in there, it was more about constructing buildings. I have set up three schools in remote villages, and believe me, getting rooms or a building is the least of one’s worries.
I was gifted ‘Three Cups’ by a dear friend and was pretty keen on it until I reached about one-third and was like, “Errr. Wait a minute. We have been had.” :)


(If you want to buy the book online in India, I'd recommend Flipkart any day. Here's where you can get it.)

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Wodehouse: The Romance Novelist?

Everyone knows that P. G. Wodehouse is everyone's favourite author, right? At least everyone clever or important or human enough. (All you Danielle Steele fans, shame on you and you don't even count...)
Let me take a moment to swoon over the greatness of this man... Sir Plum, you have made my life so bloody enjoyable, yes you have. Here's the extent of my adoration: I almost remember the Wodehouse bio blurb (printed at the beginning of all his books) by heart.
Anyway. That's not the point.
The point is, while everyone goes on and on about Wodehouse's comic brilliance, his amazing use of the ridiculous, his all-is-well-that-we-know-will-eventually-end-well approach to writing (and rightly so), I have never really read anything substantial written about his prowess as a romance writer. A writer of awesome, simple, light-hearted and fun love stories, interwoven beautifully with his nonsense plots.
Who that has read Wodehouse cannot love the breezy, hilarious and cute-rom-com nature of his stories? There's always a likeable good-as-gold chappie, there's always a spirited, tender, fiesty ladybird, and there's' always always unbridled hilarity and whattey! dialogues between the two. Eventually, just when we, the readers, are about to fall off our chairs in anticipation of the big 'moment', the hero will clasp the heroine in an awesomely awesome embrace and say something like, "My mate!"
Hyuk hyuk.I love it. I wish love stories were like that in real life. I wish men were funny and outrageous like Psmith or Joe Vanringham. (The latter being the adorable hero from my latest Wodehouse read, 'Summer Moonshine'.)

Wodehouse's sense of a comfortable, pally love is so perfect. The jokes never stop, the ribbing and teasing are delicious, the situations are ROFL, the weather is always lovely- except when hero/heroine are love sick or depressed.

Sigh... As if real life weren't terrible enough, Sir Plummie has raised the bar on 'romance' for me. Nothing will ever quite match up. *gloom*

PS: Must read for Plummie fans: Wodehouse: A Life, by Robert McCrum

Thursday, February 18, 2010

My Name Is Khan. Yes. The Fillum...

So I watched MNIK today. After various attempts by me at diverting attention from this possibility (like organising sporadic protests against SRK, recruiting goondas from a small gang called the Shiv Sena to attack theaters or, at the very least, tear up film posters), in a wonderful shock-and-awe type attack this morning, my Ma cornered me and said, "There's a show at 1:00, then 2:30 at the other cinema. I asked everybody and no one's free. Tsk. Sigh. Oh ho." *puppy face* *sad eyes* etc. And that was that.
In spite of the blatant untruth of her statement (Really, Ma? You asked everybody? IN THE WORLD????) what choice had I? The fact of the matter is that if Ma said, "Aaj tak maine tumse kuchh nahin maanga hai, par aaj mangti hoon..," she would be right.
Hmmm.
So off we went, just the two of us. To catch the 2:30 show if you must know. I cheered myself up on the way by playing songs from Ishqiya and Coke Studio. Also, I had only four asshole driver encounters on the road which was way below the Jammu average for a 7 km run. Hence, no road rage.
Film started at 2:40 p.m. We emerged from the hall at 5:20ish.
Let me cut to the chase. Here, in brief, is what stayed with me after:
1. MNIK is too long. A good half hour too long at least, and draggy and slow in places. I must have looked at my watch about 10 times in between. That is a sure sign the film isn't great shakes.
2. SRK didn't piss me off so much. That is not as much as I was expecting him to. (That annoying grin and perfunctory hamming per movie? Not there!) But still, weak research by the writers on Asperger's is quite apparent in him throughout.
3. Kajol pissed me off way more than I expected her to. *shriek!* *nasal* *artificial cute* *shriek!**Miss Snooty Know It All* *shriek!* You get the picture. Her character was lame and irritating to say the least. They didn't even try to make her likeable.
4. The story/plot gets weirder and more incredible as the movie drags on. The hurricane nonsense was epic. By the time we see a 20-something-year-old fake Obama at the end, I was ready to find leprechauns under my seat. Exactly. No relevance.
5. Songs: Meh. You must be kidding. Nothing to write anywhere about.
6. The Mussalman thing: Surprise, surprise! I liked how it was done. For once, a little realism in the depiction of Muslims on screen. [Erm. Except for the gold ring that SRK's character always wears... Maybe no one else noticed it, but to a Muslim (and he's quite devout in the fillum, spouting Hadith and whatnot) it's quite obvious.]
I liked the simple fact that the hijabi women were shown as they would be dressed in the States. Sonya Jehan is especially easy on the eyes. I liked that they show she wants to wear the hijab, not that she's oppressed or browbeaten into wearing it.
No nonsense misquoting or outright mockery of Islamic rituals. Just a quiet periodic reinstating of the fact that the protagonist is an Urdu-speaking Muslim brought up like most regular Urdu-speaking Muslims and you know, some habits stick with us. We all know Surahs, a little hadith, stories of the prohets, simple prayers and whatnot. We say salaam alaikum, khuda haafiz, inshaAllah all the time. It's part of our daily lives.
Don't know how it goes down with non-Muslims. You think it's too much? Let me know, please. This could be interesting.
7. Waste/Annoying characters: Quite a few, as in all KJo films.
8. The kid who played Sameer [boy, this name is getting famous] did good.
9. The background score: First let me make it very clear that I cry easily at the movies. And so, yes, I cried a lot, okay? And not because of exceptional acting or beautiful emoting or brilliant dialogues or anything. Oh, no. It was the damn soaring music swells and crescendos! I'm telling you. Give me tragic music in scenes involving mothers and kids and nine times out of ten I'll cry, whether it's actually worth it or not. Mother-child relationships shown in extreme close up is the key to waterworks. And this movie didn't even have great mother-child scenes. WTF!!! Oh, that reminds me: that SRK's ma lady- she did good too, for the few minutes she was on screen.
9. SRK-Kajol chemistry? FAIL. What chemistry? Damp as a damp squib. These two can look good together admittedly, but in MNIK? Ha ha. Nothing doing. Yes, so SRK has Asperger's and can't do emotions, but then his character is more emotive than Kajol's so what's that all about? Her role is so badly written. *rolls eyes* Seriously, much more could have been done with their relationship which, in the film, was about as exciting as lukewarm tea.
10. FTW moments: Barkha Dutt cameo (!!!), policeman doing the 'I'm watching you' fingers-to-eyes thingy (!!!!), open house terrorist recruitment in posh mosque (heheheh, this took the cake), the whole Georgia episode, the 'perfect murder' of Sameer - until emotions get the better of kid next door and he spills the beans etc etc vageira vageira vageira. So many of these gems in all KJo movies.

TO SUM UP:
The movie, through all the nonsense and ridiculousness of the plot, manages to put its point across clearly I think: That police departments in the US are not big on sensitivity training. Ha ha. I jest.
No, MNIK wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be, which speaks volumes about the power of low expectations. For once I didn't feel like hitting out at a director because he made Muslims look like jerks or apologetic or defensive about everything. Also, for once I didn't feel like hitting SRK on the head. With a blunt object. Repeatedly.

And yes, in fact there ARE only two kind of peeps in the world: good and bad. It's that simple.

(I would like to mention that I do have this terrible headache ever since getting back from the cinema. And that doesn't happen when I like a fillum.)

Acting: Kajol- go back into retirement and stay there please; SRK, Jimmy Shergill, Sonya Jehan - good enough; kid Sameer, Ma - v. good; others - who cares
Story/Screenplay/Dialogues/Plot: Starts off okay and spirals down quickly into utter rubbish.
Music:
Mehhhh.
Background score: Exploitative and over the top. Damn you.
Camera work: Pretty as usual
Mussalman angle: Musslamans like me get it and are not offended by it. The question is, when SRK chucks stones at evil doctor in mosque and says, "Shaitan!", will anyone else get it? :) [Refer 'stoning the devil' ritual performed during the Hajj.]

PostScript: Movie experience made more unenjoyable by random cell phones going off around me, random people answering these cell phones and then proceeding to have conversations on them, a group of young jerks cackling every time a black person came on screen, making loud remarks during quiet scenes (one girl in particular annoying me to extremes) and general rude behaviour of the common man in cinema. Thooo!

PPS: Hilarious and brilliant MNIK reviews by The Vigil Idiot and Fake Bal Thakre. Go to!
Here's The Great Bong with his 'Making Of' version.
And here's an interesting article by Mariana Pinto, whose son actually has Asperger's.

Monday, February 08, 2010

Great Bong Book Giveaway!


Book Kumpteeshun, more like.
All of you should know that the Great Bong is none other than a chappie called Arnab...Ray.
(Got worried for a bit? You thought it was Arnab Goswami, no? No.) It is Arnab Ray who is a writer of funny things.
Here's how you can participate in the contest. Go to the competition page on GreatBong's website where you will find that you can win a copy of his (yes, his very own!) debut writing treat, known as May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss!
------------------

The rules (more details on the contest page):

1. On your blog, provide a link to: http://greatbong.net/book

2. Go to the comment-space of this post and post your blog’s link so the Great Bong can go and read it.

-----------------------

I'm tagging: Basically Blah, IyerMatter, Good Gawde, 8ate, and Simply61 to take part and spread the words.

Here are my Top 10 Hindi fillum lines, in no particular order of awesomeness.

1. -Neeche aaja, betiiiii!
-Oopar aaja, motiiii! From 'Seeta Aur Geeta'. [Hema Malini, I love you.]

2. Yeh Teja Teja kya hai, yeh Teja Teja? - From Andaaz Apna Apna [ROFL! Crime Master Gogo]

3. Ab... goli kha. *dhishkyaaooon!* - Sholay, Gabbar Singh [No explanation needed]

4. Anand marta nahin. Anand marte nahin... - Anand [*sniffle* What. A. Fillum.]

5. Bhole, maana ladki romantic aur forward hai, par hai to khandani. - Padosan. [Yaahahaahah! Kishore Da, you are something else.]

6. Aap mere liye jagi? Aap mere liye jagi kyun? - Hum Aapke Hain Kaun [Many more cringe-inducing dialogues in this classic from beginning to end]

7. Maine cheerharan ka idea drop kar diya hai. - Naseeruddin Shah in Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro [Epic film, epic scene]

8. Aap police officer? Haaaaaahaha! Aap police officer nahin, foolish officer! EEESHHHH! - Golmaal [The whole movie is brilliant like this. Utpal Dutt, Amol Palekar awesomeness]

9. Daaga! Teja! Yeh karoron rupiya doosri tabaahiyon aur barbaadiyon ke kaamon mein lagaate raho. - Mr India [You HAVE to admire Mogambo's simple work ethic.]

10. Voh mein mast tel mein fry karke khaa gaya. - Hera Pheri [Babu Bhai and Chaman Jheengawala - How can you go wrong?]

So many other jewels to pass up on: Chupke Chupke, Chaalbaaz, Lamhe (Pallo!), Angoor etc.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Operation 'Relocate Ram'

That's 'ram' as in rhymes with Sam, not Ram of Ramayana fame.

Here's what ensued, in chronologically arranged pics :

Confused? Flabbergasted? Can't believe your eyes? Ha ha. Allow me to explain:
1. Latta poses with Ram #1, a ram.
2. Basheer and Bagh Singh position themselves good-naturedly on wall separating our lawn from neighbours'. They are going to 'receive and deposit' the package, viz. a ram.
3. Latta hoists Ram #1 onto shoulder in one fluid motion and prepares to hand him over to the Wall People.
4. Package (ram) is secured and comforted by Wall-Peeps. "This too shall pass," they say.

In the next unphotographed sequence, Latta jumps over in to the adjoining lawn, and receives Ram #1 in similar fluid motion as while giving. Ram #1 is let loose to eat, sleep and swing as desired unto the end of his days....

Same sequence of events follows for Ram #2, who unfortunately did not receive any footage.

Please note that none of the animals used in this stunt were injured in any way, nor were they photographed without permission. They were embarrassed, yes; they were shown dramatically what the phrase, "There's always a first time" meant; they were thoroughly nonplussed by all the hoisting-gitching.
But were they hurt, injured, put through agony and such? No. We village peeps like animals, you see. Pre- and/or post-humously.

Here's the back story.
We had brought home a couple of rams prior to Eid. They were supposed to graze and live the last few days of their lives happily munching on neighbour's grassy lawn and flowers. Said lawn even had an awning-ed wrought iron garden swing, of the kind seen in romantic Hindi fillum scenes (or at least appearing in b/g in all the rich peeps' houses). Something like this.So anyway. If the rams were in any doubt they were going to live the high life (before they were eventually brought to their heroic end as juicy kebabs-see end of post), the swing should have settled the matter.
[To pre-empt you asking, "Hey! Why should the rams feed off your neighbours' lawn and not yours?!!! WTF?", let me add that our neighbours had long months past quit Jammu and moved to Delhi, entrusting to us their gate and house keys in exchange for a solemn oath of protecting it against intruders, burglars, trespassers and natural disasters. We promised confidently on all points save the last, and they, looking at the thing reasonably, understood.
Gate keys being in our possession, we were eyewitness to the miraculously lush growth of grass and the proliferation of wild flowers in their lawn like a NatGeo documentary on the monsoons. In the absence of hours of daily gardening, Jammu lawns tend to outdo themselves and aim for jungle-like hauteur. Such was the case with this lawn. It was tooooo much. The flora had to be restricted. Enter: fauna, viz. the rams.]

Now. Herein lay the problem. Neighbour's gate keys had gone on a tour of the city in the left front pocket of our houseboy, who wasn't going to be back for a while. The rams had arrived and were anxious to get started. They smelt the berserk grass. They smelt the wildly insane flowers. The saw the huge padlock on the gate. They noticed the high wall separating our property from the neighbours'. They bleated something derisive about the "Good fences make good neighbours" ideology. In short, it was a tragic scene.
Suddenly, the indefatigable practical good sense that lies in all sons of the soil came to the fore in the person of my father, and his right and left hand men, the good lads of Breswana. These were farmer-folk, animal peeps, and more importantly, physically strong lads.

POST-SCRIPT:
Had barbecue party a few days later on Eid. Fun. Also, delicious.


Wasn't this story interesting? Please write in to twitter.com/@BDutt with what you think.

Poll of the Day:
Should politicians be allowed to wear pink chaddis in the presence of Shah Rukh Khan?
SMS 'Yes' or 'No' to 66673673


That's all folks.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Hate Brigade

"Don't you just love it when 'Anonymous' comes into your life and pees in a corner of the room?"
This is something I happened to ask
Good Gawde after a nonsense person left a rude comment on one of his posts. What is up with that? It was a charming post, I thought personally. Amusing, sarky, serious and informative in the right proportions. *applause*

Once upon a time I posted a harmless home video of the tragicomic reaction of my family minutes after Pak's 'Misbah 5 Runs' loss to India at the first T20 World Cup, on YouTube. Shockingly got lots of hits and even more shockingly started a war of words (and not very kind words) on the India-Pakistan-Kashmir situation. I tried replying reasonably for a longish time and deleted most of the obscene stuff coming in. So many kind suggestions from Indians for me and all bloody Kashmiris to go 'back' to Pakistan (obviously on foot, and not in the sense that Kashmir should go to Pakistan), Pakistani friends effing and $%#%#-ing Indian counterparts in equal measure, religious extemporising, Islam-Terror-Jihad allusions etc. Lots and lots of pleasant stuff like that.
Then, wonder of wonders, one day I found the 'Disable Comments' option and life was so much simpler after!

I can understand not liking something someone has written or an opinion expressed, but wherefore the rudeness and getting personal and juvenile arguments that follow? Take
any YouTube video and chances are you'll spot some loser saying something really nasty in the comments. Here's what amazes me: What a shit load of time people must have to post comments on random sites and pick fights with strangers who then also get involved with their hearts and souls. Entertaining actually if it wasn't so annoying.
I hate rude people.
Just saying.

Webcomic kumpteeshun!

Okay. So, flyyoufools who is actually one Saad Akhtar, has put up a comic contest sponsored by Bindass. Details here.
To quote him:
"It’s time for another one of those “Caption the comic” contest things. Except this time winners get actual stuff, instead of a cheap printout of their comic and some chocolates.The deadline is 5th January, so plenty of time. You can send as many entries as you want."

Go to link for details and sending in your entries. Only 30 in so far is what the latest update is, as of right now, 30 December, 2009, 2317 hrs.

indian comics, webcomic, free comics, online indian comics, jokes
Fly You Fools - Indian Comics about Life.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Kalimpong Calling....

Spoke with 'My Lovely Bones' after ever so long today. Heart-warming-cockles and whatnot. And, and, and....!
Bones tells me about her family's wonderful guest retreat in Kalimpong, and it sounds and looks delicious. 'WindSongs' is the name, and from what we know of Kalimpong, and what I know of Bones and her family, this is definitely one place I'm headed for soon. So here I am shamelssly passing on inside info.
A little bit about WindSongs, from their website:
"WindSongs is a luxury retreat located in the picturesque town of Kalimpong in the sub - Himalayan region of Darjeeling- a place which even the residents of the surrounding towns of Darjeeling & Sikkim envyingly call Heaven. With our eastern belief in reincarnation, we often tell our friends that as residents of Kalimpong, we must have done a lot of good in our earlier life to have been re-born here."


Let's go, let's go!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sunitha Krishnan: Anti-trafficking Crusader

Here's Sunitha Krishnan, a gutsy, straight-talking, inspiring lady, with something worth listening to. The horrors of sexual trafficking, especially young children, and the social stigmas attached to it. Stigma for the victims sadly.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

I Like...






...kids in all sizes. Like this specimen here...












...or this one here, a few months senior....











...or a few years later, like so... (Even foreign kids, see?)









Not to mention local munchkins, like so.












I like good times with the family.












This includes watching the men fight over wrong moves.








West to East:"Culbertson says second to play lowest! What did you do?"








I like reading in the sun, and this is my spot.









Did I mention I like food? Especially meaty stuff, and more especially if it's pulao and kebabs.





Just saying. I like my life.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Ginger Boy in Bangalore

Up for adoption, the most adorable cat-boy item. Please to read here for full details. This is Adopt-A-Stray again.

Audience reaction: Awwwww.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Presenting.....THE VIGIL IDIOT!

Hallo! Have I found the world's best ever blog? Maybe I did just that.
Have a look-see yourself. Pee in your pants laughing even. Presenting Mr Sahil Rizwan's blog: The Vigil Idiot.
Many thanks to Suma who FBed this wonder thereby bringing it to my notice. Whence it has caught on like wildfire with countless friends across our social networks responding with ROFLs, LOLzzzz, LMAO and the newest variant, IMAO. One wishes Mr Rizwan well and one will wait and watch for more.
The Vigil Idiot is also listed on my blogroll now. I proclaim self as certified psycho stalker.
In local parlance: Kickasssssss!

PACHELBEL - CANON IN D MAJOR


Fantastic version of one of my favourite classical pieces of all time I found on YouTube: Pachelbel's Canon. Have copy-pasted entire sidebar information for this video. Lots of interesting points about the playing technique.

Johann Pachelbel's beautiful interweaving of melody & harmony--one of the great works of music!
Soundtrack at
http://tinyurl.com/PachelbelVideo
Performed on original instruments by Voices of Music. Featuring Katherine Kyme, Carla Moore & Cynthia Freivogel, baroque violin; Tanya Tomkins, baroque cello, Hanneke van Proosdij, baroque organ; David Tayler, theorbo.
About the performance: the canon is played using not only the instruments but also the bowing techniques from the time of Pachelbel. As you can see from the video, especially if you look at the high definition version, the string instruments are not only baroque, but they are in baroque setup: this means that the strings, fingerboard, bridge and other parts of the violin appear just as they did in Pachelbel's time. No metal hardware such as chinrests, clamps or fine tuners are used on the violins, allowing the violins to vibrate freely. A good example of baroque bowing can be seen in the extended passage of repeated notes: the musicians play these notes on one bow—the shorter & lighter baroque bow—to created a gliding effect. The players also hold the bow very differently which affects the balance and touch. Both the style and the amount of vibrato are based on baroque treatises which describe the methods for playing, bowing & articulation in the late 17th century. The narrow, shimmering vibrato blends with the baroque organ. The organ used is made entirely of wood, based on German baroque instruments, and the pipes are voiced to provide a smooth accompaniment to the strings, instead of a more soloistic sound. The large bass lute, or theorbo, provides a complement to the organ not only in the texture of the chords but also the long strings which occasionally sound the bass notes an octave lower. The continuo players play supporting chords and voices to the canon, carefully avoiding parallels and doublings of the parts.
Another feature of the video is the subtle differences in not only the sound and color of the instruments, but also the different techniques of the players. All three are playing baroque violins with baroque bows, yet each person has her own distinct sound and bowing style—each bow has a different shape and balance. If you look at paintings of 17th century players you will see that they are all different, because that individuality of sound and technique was highly valued. This allows the players and the listeners to hear and appreciate the "Voices of Music."

Monday, November 16, 2009

NoiseofIndia again





Latest hilarity from noiseofindia: "Koda Booked under KODA"
Enjoy!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Pratchett's Alzheimer's Speech


Related to the previous post, and reminded by none other than Jai Ho of the touching speech by Mr Terry Pratchett announcing his Alzheimer's in March 2008, here's a C&P of the entire text if you're too lazy to click on the link and read for yourself or just can't bear to tear your eyes away from my site (perfectly understandable):





Terry Pratchett's Alzheimer's Speech in Full

My name is Terry Pratchett, author of a series of inexplicably successful fantasy books and I have had Alzheimer's now for the past two years plus, in which time I managed to write a couple of bestsellers.

I have a rare variant. I don't understand very much about it, but apparently if you are going to have Alzheimer's it's a good one to have.

So, a stroke of luck there then!

Interestingly enough, when I was diagnosed last December by those nice people at Addenbrooke's, I started a very different journey through dementia.

This one had much better scenery, interesting and often very attractive inhabitants, wonderful wildlife and many opportunities for excitement and adventure.

Those of you who's last experience with computer games was looking at Lara Croft's buttocks might not be aware of how good they have become as audio and visual experiences, although I would concede that Lara's buttocks were a visual experience in their own right.

But in this case I was travelling through a country that was part of the huge computer game called Oblivion, which is so beautifully detailed that I have often ridden around it to enjoy the scenery and weather and have hardly bothered to kill anything at all.

At the same time as I began exploring the wonderful Kingdom of Dementia, which is next door to the Kingdom of Mania, I was also experiencing the slightly more realistic experience of being a 59 year old who finds they have early onset Alzheimer's.

Apparently I reacted to this situation in a reasonably typical way, with a sense of loss and abandonment with an incoherent, or perhaps I should say, violently coherent fury that made the Miltonic Lucifer's rage against Heaven seem a bit miffed by comparison. That fire still burns.

I want to go on writing! Admittedly, that means I have to stay alive.

You can't write books when you are dead, unless your name is L. Ron Hubbard.

And so now I'm a game for real. It's a nasty disease, surrounded by shadows and small, largely unseen tragedies.

People don't know what to say, unless they have had it in the family.

People ask me why I announced that I had Alzheimer's.

My response was: why shouldn't I?

I remember when people died "of a long illness" now we call cancer by its name, and as every wizard knows, once you have a thing's real name you have the first step to its taming.

We are at war with cancer, and we use that vocabulary.

We battle, we are brave, we survive. And we have a large armaments industry.

For those of us with early onset in particular, it's more of a series of skirmishes.

My GP is helpful and patient, but I don't have a specialist locally.

The NHS kindly allows me to buy my own Aricept because I'm too young to have Alzheimer's for free, a situation I'm okay with, in a want-to-kick-a-politician-in-the-teeth-kind of way.

But, on the whole, you try to be your own doctor.

The internet twangs night and day. I walk a lot and take more supplements than the Sunday papers. We talk to one another and compare regimes.

Part of me lives in a world of new age remedies and science, and some of the science is a little like voodoo.

But science was never an exact science, and personally I'd eat the arse out of a dead mole if it offered a fighting chance.

Fortunately, I have the Greek Chorus to calm me down

Soon after I told the world my website fell over and my PA had to spend the evening negotiating more bandwidth.

I had more than 60,000 messages within the first few hours.

Most of them were readers and well-wishers.

Some of them wanted to sell me snake oil and I'm not necessarily going to dismiss all of these, as I have never found a rusty snake.

But a large handful came from 'experienced' sufferers, successfully fighting a holding action, and various people in universities and research establishments who had, despite all expectations, risen to high places in their various professions even while being confirmed readers of my books.

And they said; can we help? They are the Greek Chorus. Only two of them are known to each other and they give me their advice on various options that I suggest.

They include a Wiccan, too. It's a good idea to cover all the angles.

It was interesting when I asked about having my dental amalgam fillings removed.

There was a chorus of ? hrumph, no scientific evidence, hrumph???., but if you can afford to have it done properly then it certainly won't do any harm and you never know.

And that is where I am, along with many others, scrabbling to stay ahead long enough to be there when the cure, which I suspect may be more like a regime, comes along.

Say it will be soon - there's nearly as many of us as there are cancer sufferers, and it looks as if the number of people with the disease will double within a generation.

And in most cases you will find alongside the sufferer you will find a spouse, suffering as much. It's a shock and a shame, then, to find out that funding for research is three per cent of that which goes to find cancer cures.

Perhaps that is why, for example, that I know three people who have successfully survived brain tumours but no-one who has beaten Alzheimer's???although among the Greek Chorus are some who are giving it a hard time.

I'd like a chance to die like my father did - of cancer, at 86.

Remember, I'm speaking as a man with Alzheimer's, which strips away your living self a bit at a time.

Before he went to spend his last two weeks in a hospice he was bustling around the house, fixing things.

He talked to us right up to the last few days, knowing who we were and who he was.

Right now, I envy him. And there are thousands like me, except that they don't get heard.

So let's shout something loud enough to hear. We need you and you need money. I'm giving you a million dollars. Spend it wisely.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Terry Pratchett is back!


NEWSFLASH!!!! The fantastic Terry Pratchett is out with another book finally. (Thanks to BB for latest information and link.)

Here's an article on 'Unseen Academicals', Pratchett's latest wonderful gift to us.

What we learn about the book from said article:
1. It's another of the Discworld series.
2. It's as good as ever.
3. It's about soccer.
4. It's as good as ever.

That about covers it.
Reviewer recommends familiarising self with Discworld prior to this read, so maybe new readers will have trouble. For hard-core fans like us, it's a must-read.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Crickety Poems - By Anoopa Anand

Step 1. Go to Anoopa's leftarmspinster blog.
Step 2. Enjoy.

Excerpt from But mostly, seventeen thousand runs featuring Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar:

"So carefully I position my computer at the stumps,
my mouse at silly point,
my eye on the outfield,
my heart with the wicketkeeper."

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Ibn-E-Insha: Urdu Ki Aakhri Kitaab

Am seriously considering buying this book by one Ibn-E-Insha. Found it randomly while searching for PTV dramas and what not. Seriously funny. (I hoped to buy this in the original Urdu but who am I kidding? I must study and improve myself first.)


The only time I heard any reference to Insha prior to today was Jagjit Singh's rendition of 'Kal Chaudvin Ki Raat Thi.' Obviously he's not top calibre poet material but he's a bloody funny writer.



Excerpt:

"A Lesson in Geography

In the beginning, there were very few countries, and people lived in comparative peace and quiet. In the 15th century, Columbus discovered America. There are two theories concerning this. Some people are of the opinion that it was not his fault. He merely wanted to discover India, namely us. It was just a mistake that he discovered America instead. Weight lent to this theory by the fact that we have still not been discovered.

A second body of opinion says that, on the contrary, Columbus discovered America on purpose. Whatever the case may be, if it was a mistake, it was a grave one, Columbus is dead, but we are still suffering its consequences."

(From Urdu – The Final Book by Ibn-e-Insha, Translated by David Matthews,

Harper Collins, 1997)


Fuller excerpt can be found at Muse India. I can only imagine how much better it would have been in the original. Some day soon...


Addendum: Rare light poem by Insha, rendered as ghazal by Nahid Akhtar here.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Dhoop Kinaray - At the Edge of the Sun

Have been on a Pakistani serial watching spree these past few days. Just re-watched Dhoop Kinaray, one of the several brilliant dramas that PTV churned out during its Golden Age, and am absolutely gushing forth with its praises again, which is what happens every time I watch it.Everything about this drama is classic. From its novel concept, gripping story line and fabulously well-written dialogues and characters, to its au naturel direction, its brilliant casting, and immediately identifiable soundtrack - the whole is even better than the sum of all its parts.
Let's start with the essentials.
1. Story/script: Thank you Haseena Moin, you wonderful, wonderful woman. One look at Moin's writing credits (Ankahi, Aahat, Tanhaiyaan, Zer Zabar Paish, Dhund, Dhoop Kinaray etc.) and you have but an idea of her creative calibre and mastery over Urdu. *standing ovation*
Focussing on just Dhoop Kinaray for the anon...
An exceptional, convincing and very well-told romantic story between a frothy, lovable, beautiful young medical intern (Zoya) and her much-older, very hot, sullen, no-nonsense, broody, intelligent and totally awesome boss, a pediatrician of some note (Dr Ahmer) . Throw in a smorgasbord of fantastic supporting characters (Baba, Anji, Dr Irfan, Fazeelat, the other interns etc.) and an evil-psycho-hateful-type vamp like you won't believe (Dr Sheena: Yukh thoooo!) and you have all the ingredients that Haseena Moin used to make DK a work of art beyond compare.
Did I mention the pace of this drama? It speeds along from start to finish like that *snaps fingers* and when the story concludes at just the right time, you feel a twinge of regret that it's all ended too soon. THAT'S the mark of a good writer, what?

2. Direction:
Directed by Rahat Kazmi's/Dr Ahmer's real-life wife, Saira Kazmi. Was watching a random video off YouTube where she was explaining how she was all about realistic drama and a natural style of story-telling. Hey, Saira, we believe you. Absolutely. Well done, I say.

3. Casting:
In terms of casting, I don't think any televised drama has ever since, or ever will, get it this right.
-Rahat Kazmi as Dr Ahmer: Drool factor 10/10;
-Marina Khan as Dr Zoya: Beautiful, fun, innocent and extremely lovable as female protagonist - every young girl wanted to be her;
-Sajid Hasan as Dr Irfan: I want one to go, please... My God, Dr Irfan's hilarious character is everyone's favourite memory of DK;
-Kehkashaan Awaz as the sweet Anji, Zoya's childhood friend and neighbour;
-The acid spewing Dr Sheena, played by Badar Khalil- DIE DIE DIE! Has anyone ever managed to play a character so universally hateful and psyched? Even her unfortunate ABBA hairdo makes you want to scalp her;
-Zoya's adorable father Baba, played by Qazi Wajid. *grin*
-Fazeelat: Zoya's aaya since forever; a loud, abrasive and extremely loving, paan-chewing harridan who is the proverbial coconut - hard on the outside, soft inside.

All the actors were catapulted to superstardom after Dhoop Kinaray, if they weren't established as top-of-the-league already.
Here's a classic bit from Dhoop Kinaray. It's the beginning of the story, we see Dr Ahmer (hubba hubba) leading his interns on rounds, and Dr Zoya goofing up and irking the hell out of him. *flashback to own college gaffes*

4. Soundtrack: DK has an eminently hummable soundtrack. Ghazals by Nayyara Noor, poetry by Faiz Ahmad Faiz. I've been humming the background music stupidly for days now. Even to put my baby nephew to sleep. He's six months old and then some, but he gets it.
Here's a good link to Dhoop Kinaray's soundtrack. It's got MP3s, lyrics, translations and videos.

And now a video of the most grin-inducing romantic bit from the whole series... the bit where the two docs go gallivanting on a field trip and we as audiences pee our pants in anticipation of all the romance that will follow. "HE HOLDS HER HAND!" OMG OMG OMG! This was a very big deal in Pakistani dramas, okay? Ha ha. Lyrics (by Faiz) as follows:
Raat yoon dil mein teri khoee hui yaad aaye
Jaise veeraane mein chhupke se bahaar aa jaaye;
Jaise sehraaon mein haule se chale baad-e-naseem;
Jaise beemaar ko be-wajhaa qaraar aa jaaye
.

5. Style Statement: Dhoop Kinaray oozes in sophistication and style, whether it's sartorial or cultural or verbal. Class will tell, is what I always say.
The clothes the characters wear in this series were the height of fashion then. I promise, they were. Our family (and all salwar-kameez wearing folk everywhere I suppose) always used to take the lead from PTV's contemporary dramas in terms of fashion trends. What they wore, we wore. (This is not true anymore. What they wear on PTV nowadays, I could never wear. Too little textile used and full length salwars and sleeves seem to be a thing of the past. But wait! This is neither here nor there.)
And then the depiction of family life, the tehzeeb, the beauty of well-spoken Urdu, the shaairi mixed in with everyday dialogue - most endearing about Pakistani dramas...
Even the hair styles, yes, even them! They were oh-so-cool back then. (Coincidentally, I had Zoya Khan's boy-cut all my girlhood days. Also known as the Princess Diana cut. *blush*)

Anyway. To cut a long story short, Dhoop Kinaray is aces. Those of you who haven't watched, start downloading all episodes from YouTube or just go to the many online sources and buy the original DVD. Absolutely worth it, since it's so cheap. About USD 20 or so.

When I look at the tripe that calls itself 'drama' on channels today (especially Indian tele-serials.... gaaah!...) laughing alone does not satisfy. I need to point AND laugh. Which I do, before changing channels very, very fast.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Drop the Prefix, I’m Just Muslim

Drop the Prefix, I’m Just Muslim
Very good article I was given the link to by Skinny.

(Posted using ShareThis)

PS: Hilarious change of ads on my blog suddenly. After the last post, it was Kashmir and holidays... Now Google is linking to sites giving special tips on converting to Islam. (Who converts based on a website ad? Hmmm. I am very interested in this phenomenon.)