Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Hate Brigade

"Don't you just love it when 'Anonymous' comes into your life and pees in a corner of the room?"
This is something I happened to ask
Good Gawde after a nonsense person left a rude comment on one of his posts. What is up with that? It was a charming post, I thought personally. Amusing, sarky, serious and informative in the right proportions. *applause*

Once upon a time I posted a harmless home video of the tragicomic reaction of my family minutes after Pak's 'Misbah 5 Runs' loss to India at the first T20 World Cup, on YouTube. Shockingly got lots of hits and even more shockingly started a war of words (and not very kind words) on the India-Pakistan-Kashmir situation. I tried replying reasonably for a longish time and deleted most of the obscene stuff coming in. So many kind suggestions from Indians for me and all bloody Kashmiris to go 'back' to Pakistan (obviously on foot, and not in the sense that Kashmir should go to Pakistan), Pakistani friends effing and $%#%#-ing Indian counterparts in equal measure, religious extemporising, Islam-Terror-Jihad allusions etc. Lots and lots of pleasant stuff like that.
Then, wonder of wonders, one day I found the 'Disable Comments' option and life was so much simpler after!

I can understand not liking something someone has written or an opinion expressed, but wherefore the rudeness and getting personal and juvenile arguments that follow? Take
any YouTube video and chances are you'll spot some loser saying something really nasty in the comments. Here's what amazes me: What a shit load of time people must have to post comments on random sites and pick fights with strangers who then also get involved with their hearts and souls. Entertaining actually if it wasn't so annoying.
I hate rude people.
Just saying.

Webcomic kumpteeshun!

Okay. So, flyyoufools who is actually one Saad Akhtar, has put up a comic contest sponsored by Bindass. Details here.
To quote him:
"It’s time for another one of those “Caption the comic” contest things. Except this time winners get actual stuff, instead of a cheap printout of their comic and some chocolates.The deadline is 5th January, so plenty of time. You can send as many entries as you want."

Go to link for details and sending in your entries. Only 30 in so far is what the latest update is, as of right now, 30 December, 2009, 2317 hrs.

indian comics, webcomic, free comics, online indian comics, jokes
Fly You Fools - Indian Comics about Life.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Kalimpong Calling....

Spoke with 'My Lovely Bones' after ever so long today. Heart-warming-cockles and whatnot. And, and, and....!
Bones tells me about her family's wonderful guest retreat in Kalimpong, and it sounds and looks delicious. 'WindSongs' is the name, and from what we know of Kalimpong, and what I know of Bones and her family, this is definitely one place I'm headed for soon. So here I am shamelssly passing on inside info.
A little bit about WindSongs, from their website:
"WindSongs is a luxury retreat located in the picturesque town of Kalimpong in the sub - Himalayan region of Darjeeling- a place which even the residents of the surrounding towns of Darjeeling & Sikkim envyingly call Heaven. With our eastern belief in reincarnation, we often tell our friends that as residents of Kalimpong, we must have done a lot of good in our earlier life to have been re-born here."

Let's go, let's go!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sunitha Krishnan: Anti-trafficking Crusader

Here's Sunitha Krishnan, a gutsy, straight-talking, inspiring lady, with something worth listening to. The horrors of sexual trafficking, especially young children, and the social stigmas attached to it. Stigma for the victims sadly.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

I Like... in all sizes. Like this specimen here...

...or this one here, a few months senior....

...or a few years later, like so... (Even foreign kids, see?)

Not to mention local munchkins, like so.

I like good times with the family.

This includes watching the men fight over wrong moves.

West to East:"Culbertson says second to play lowest! What did you do?"

I like reading in the sun, and this is my spot.

Did I mention I like food? Especially meaty stuff, and more especially if it's pulao and kebabs.

Just saying. I like my life.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Ginger Boy in Bangalore

Up for adoption, the most adorable cat-boy item. Please to read here for full details. This is Adopt-A-Stray again.

Audience reaction: Awwwww.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Presenting.....THE VIGIL IDIOT!

Hallo! Have I found the world's best ever blog? Maybe I did just that.
Have a look-see yourself. Pee in your pants laughing even. Presenting Mr Sahil Rizwan's blog: The Vigil Idiot.
Many thanks to Suma who FBed this wonder thereby bringing it to my notice. Whence it has caught on like wildfire with countless friends across our social networks responding with ROFLs, LOLzzzz, LMAO and the newest variant, IMAO. One wishes Mr Rizwan well and one will wait and watch for more.
The Vigil Idiot is also listed on my blogroll now. I proclaim self as certified psycho stalker.
In local parlance: Kickasssssss!


Fantastic version of one of my favourite classical pieces of all time I found on YouTube: Pachelbel's Canon. Have copy-pasted entire sidebar information for this video. Lots of interesting points about the playing technique.

Johann Pachelbel's beautiful interweaving of melody & harmony--one of the great works of music!
Soundtrack at
Performed on original instruments by Voices of Music. Featuring Katherine Kyme, Carla Moore & Cynthia Freivogel, baroque violin; Tanya Tomkins, baroque cello, Hanneke van Proosdij, baroque organ; David Tayler, theorbo.
About the performance: the canon is played using not only the instruments but also the bowing techniques from the time of Pachelbel. As you can see from the video, especially if you look at the high definition version, the string instruments are not only baroque, but they are in baroque setup: this means that the strings, fingerboard, bridge and other parts of the violin appear just as they did in Pachelbel's time. No metal hardware such as chinrests, clamps or fine tuners are used on the violins, allowing the violins to vibrate freely. A good example of baroque bowing can be seen in the extended passage of repeated notes: the musicians play these notes on one bow—the shorter & lighter baroque bow—to created a gliding effect. The players also hold the bow very differently which affects the balance and touch. Both the style and the amount of vibrato are based on baroque treatises which describe the methods for playing, bowing & articulation in the late 17th century. The narrow, shimmering vibrato blends with the baroque organ. The organ used is made entirely of wood, based on German baroque instruments, and the pipes are voiced to provide a smooth accompaniment to the strings, instead of a more soloistic sound. The large bass lute, or theorbo, provides a complement to the organ not only in the texture of the chords but also the long strings which occasionally sound the bass notes an octave lower. The continuo players play supporting chords and voices to the canon, carefully avoiding parallels and doublings of the parts.
Another feature of the video is the subtle differences in not only the sound and color of the instruments, but also the different techniques of the players. All three are playing baroque violins with baroque bows, yet each person has her own distinct sound and bowing style—each bow has a different shape and balance. If you look at paintings of 17th century players you will see that they are all different, because that individuality of sound and technique was highly valued. This allows the players and the listeners to hear and appreciate the "Voices of Music."

Monday, November 16, 2009

NoiseofIndia again

Latest hilarity from noiseofindia: "Koda Booked under KODA"

Friday, November 13, 2009

Pratchett's Alzheimer's Speech

Related to the previous post, and reminded by none other than Jai Ho of the touching speech by Mr Terry Pratchett announcing his Alzheimer's in March 2008, here's a C&P of the entire text if you're too lazy to click on the link and read for yourself or just can't bear to tear your eyes away from my site (perfectly understandable):

Terry Pratchett's Alzheimer's Speech in Full

My name is Terry Pratchett, author of a series of inexplicably successful fantasy books and I have had Alzheimer's now for the past two years plus, in which time I managed to write a couple of bestsellers.

I have a rare variant. I don't understand very much about it, but apparently if you are going to have Alzheimer's it's a good one to have.

So, a stroke of luck there then!

Interestingly enough, when I was diagnosed last December by those nice people at Addenbrooke's, I started a very different journey through dementia.

This one had much better scenery, interesting and often very attractive inhabitants, wonderful wildlife and many opportunities for excitement and adventure.

Those of you who's last experience with computer games was looking at Lara Croft's buttocks might not be aware of how good they have become as audio and visual experiences, although I would concede that Lara's buttocks were a visual experience in their own right.

But in this case I was travelling through a country that was part of the huge computer game called Oblivion, which is so beautifully detailed that I have often ridden around it to enjoy the scenery and weather and have hardly bothered to kill anything at all.

At the same time as I began exploring the wonderful Kingdom of Dementia, which is next door to the Kingdom of Mania, I was also experiencing the slightly more realistic experience of being a 59 year old who finds they have early onset Alzheimer's.

Apparently I reacted to this situation in a reasonably typical way, with a sense of loss and abandonment with an incoherent, or perhaps I should say, violently coherent fury that made the Miltonic Lucifer's rage against Heaven seem a bit miffed by comparison. That fire still burns.

I want to go on writing! Admittedly, that means I have to stay alive.

You can't write books when you are dead, unless your name is L. Ron Hubbard.

And so now I'm a game for real. It's a nasty disease, surrounded by shadows and small, largely unseen tragedies.

People don't know what to say, unless they have had it in the family.

People ask me why I announced that I had Alzheimer's.

My response was: why shouldn't I?

I remember when people died "of a long illness" now we call cancer by its name, and as every wizard knows, once you have a thing's real name you have the first step to its taming.

We are at war with cancer, and we use that vocabulary.

We battle, we are brave, we survive. And we have a large armaments industry.

For those of us with early onset in particular, it's more of a series of skirmishes.

My GP is helpful and patient, but I don't have a specialist locally.

The NHS kindly allows me to buy my own Aricept because I'm too young to have Alzheimer's for free, a situation I'm okay with, in a want-to-kick-a-politician-in-the-teeth-kind of way.

But, on the whole, you try to be your own doctor.

The internet twangs night and day. I walk a lot and take more supplements than the Sunday papers. We talk to one another and compare regimes.

Part of me lives in a world of new age remedies and science, and some of the science is a little like voodoo.

But science was never an exact science, and personally I'd eat the arse out of a dead mole if it offered a fighting chance.

Fortunately, I have the Greek Chorus to calm me down

Soon after I told the world my website fell over and my PA had to spend the evening negotiating more bandwidth.

I had more than 60,000 messages within the first few hours.

Most of them were readers and well-wishers.

Some of them wanted to sell me snake oil and I'm not necessarily going to dismiss all of these, as I have never found a rusty snake.

But a large handful came from 'experienced' sufferers, successfully fighting a holding action, and various people in universities and research establishments who had, despite all expectations, risen to high places in their various professions even while being confirmed readers of my books.

And they said; can we help? They are the Greek Chorus. Only two of them are known to each other and they give me their advice on various options that I suggest.

They include a Wiccan, too. It's a good idea to cover all the angles.

It was interesting when I asked about having my dental amalgam fillings removed.

There was a chorus of ? hrumph, no scientific evidence, hrumph???., but if you can afford to have it done properly then it certainly won't do any harm and you never know.

And that is where I am, along with many others, scrabbling to stay ahead long enough to be there when the cure, which I suspect may be more like a regime, comes along.

Say it will be soon - there's nearly as many of us as there are cancer sufferers, and it looks as if the number of people with the disease will double within a generation.

And in most cases you will find alongside the sufferer you will find a spouse, suffering as much. It's a shock and a shame, then, to find out that funding for research is three per cent of that which goes to find cancer cures.

Perhaps that is why, for example, that I know three people who have successfully survived brain tumours but no-one who has beaten Alzheimer's???although among the Greek Chorus are some who are giving it a hard time.

I'd like a chance to die like my father did - of cancer, at 86.

Remember, I'm speaking as a man with Alzheimer's, which strips away your living self a bit at a time.

Before he went to spend his last two weeks in a hospice he was bustling around the house, fixing things.

He talked to us right up to the last few days, knowing who we were and who he was.

Right now, I envy him. And there are thousands like me, except that they don't get heard.

So let's shout something loud enough to hear. We need you and you need money. I'm giving you a million dollars. Spend it wisely.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Terry Pratchett is back!

NEWSFLASH!!!! The fantastic Terry Pratchett is out with another book finally. (Thanks to BB for latest information and link.)

Here's an article on 'Unseen Academicals', Pratchett's latest wonderful gift to us.

What we learn about the book from said article:
1. It's another of the Discworld series.
2. It's as good as ever.
3. It's about soccer.
4. It's as good as ever.

That about covers it.
Reviewer recommends familiarising self with Discworld prior to this read, so maybe new readers will have trouble. For hard-core fans like us, it's a must-read.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Crickety Poems - By Anoopa Anand

Step 1. Go to Anoopa's leftarmspinster blog.
Step 2. Enjoy.

Excerpt from But mostly, seventeen thousand runs featuring Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar:

"So carefully I position my computer at the stumps,
my mouse at silly point,
my eye on the outfield,
my heart with the wicketkeeper."

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Ibn-E-Insha: Urdu Ki Aakhri Kitaab

Am seriously considering buying this book by one Ibn-E-Insha. Found it randomly while searching for PTV dramas and what not. Seriously funny. (I hoped to buy this in the original Urdu but who am I kidding? I must study and improve myself first.)

The only time I heard any reference to Insha prior to today was Jagjit Singh's rendition of 'Kal Chaudvin Ki Raat Thi.' Obviously he's not top calibre poet material but he's a bloody funny writer.


"A Lesson in Geography

In the beginning, there were very few countries, and people lived in comparative peace and quiet. In the 15th century, Columbus discovered America. There are two theories concerning this. Some people are of the opinion that it was not his fault. He merely wanted to discover India, namely us. It was just a mistake that he discovered America instead. Weight lent to this theory by the fact that we have still not been discovered.

A second body of opinion says that, on the contrary, Columbus discovered America on purpose. Whatever the case may be, if it was a mistake, it was a grave one, Columbus is dead, but we are still suffering its consequences."

(From Urdu – The Final Book by Ibn-e-Insha, Translated by David Matthews,

Harper Collins, 1997)

Fuller excerpt can be found at Muse India. I can only imagine how much better it would have been in the original. Some day soon...

Addendum: Rare light poem by Insha, rendered as ghazal by Nahid Akhtar here.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Dhoop Kinaray - At the Edge of the Sun

Have been on a Pakistani serial watching spree these past few days. Just re-watched Dhoop Kinaray, one of the several brilliant dramas that PTV churned out during its Golden Age, and am absolutely gushing forth with its praises again, which is what happens every time I watch it.Everything about this drama is classic. From its novel concept, gripping story line and fabulously well-written dialogues and characters, to its au naturel direction, its brilliant casting, and immediately identifiable soundtrack - the whole is even better than the sum of all its parts.
Let's start with the essentials.
1. Story/script: Thank you Haseena Moin, you wonderful, wonderful woman. One look at Moin's writing credits (Ankahi, Aahat, Tanhaiyaan, Zer Zabar Paish, Dhund, Dhoop Kinaray etc.) and you have but an idea of her creative calibre and mastery over Urdu. *standing ovation*
Focussing on just Dhoop Kinaray for the anon...
An exceptional, convincing and very well-told romantic story between a frothy, lovable, beautiful young medical intern (Zoya) and her much-older, very hot, sullen, no-nonsense, broody, intelligent and totally awesome boss, a pediatrician of some note (Dr Ahmer) . Throw in a smorgasbord of fantastic supporting characters (Baba, Anji, Dr Irfan, Fazeelat, the other interns etc.) and an evil-psycho-hateful-type vamp like you won't believe (Dr Sheena: Yukh thoooo!) and you have all the ingredients that Haseena Moin used to make DK a work of art beyond compare.
Did I mention the pace of this drama? It speeds along from start to finish like that *snaps fingers* and when the story concludes at just the right time, you feel a twinge of regret that it's all ended too soon. THAT'S the mark of a good writer, what?

2. Direction:
Directed by Rahat Kazmi's/Dr Ahmer's real-life wife, Saira Kazmi. Was watching a random video off YouTube where she was explaining how she was all about realistic drama and a natural style of story-telling. Hey, Saira, we believe you. Absolutely. Well done, I say.

3. Casting:
In terms of casting, I don't think any televised drama has ever since, or ever will, get it this right.
-Rahat Kazmi as Dr Ahmer: Drool factor 10/10;
-Marina Khan as Dr Zoya: Beautiful, fun, innocent and extremely lovable as female protagonist - every young girl wanted to be her;
-Sajid Hasan as Dr Irfan: I want one to go, please... My God, Dr Irfan's hilarious character is everyone's favourite memory of DK;
-Kehkashaan Awaz as the sweet Anji, Zoya's childhood friend and neighbour;
-The acid spewing Dr Sheena, played by Badar Khalil- DIE DIE DIE! Has anyone ever managed to play a character so universally hateful and psyched? Even her unfortunate ABBA hairdo makes you want to scalp her;
-Zoya's adorable father Baba, played by Qazi Wajid. *grin*
-Fazeelat: Zoya's aaya since forever; a loud, abrasive and extremely loving, paan-chewing harridan who is the proverbial coconut - hard on the outside, soft inside.

All the actors were catapulted to superstardom after Dhoop Kinaray, if they weren't established as top-of-the-league already.
Here's a classic bit from Dhoop Kinaray. It's the beginning of the story, we see Dr Ahmer (hubba hubba) leading his interns on rounds, and Dr Zoya goofing up and irking the hell out of him. *flashback to own college gaffes*

4. Soundtrack: DK has an eminently hummable soundtrack. Ghazals by Nayyara Noor, poetry by Faiz Ahmad Faiz. I've been humming the background music stupidly for days now. Even to put my baby nephew to sleep. He's six months old and then some, but he gets it.
Here's a good link to Dhoop Kinaray's soundtrack. It's got MP3s, lyrics, translations and videos.

And now a video of the most grin-inducing romantic bit from the whole series... the bit where the two docs go gallivanting on a field trip and we as audiences pee our pants in anticipation of all the romance that will follow. "HE HOLDS HER HAND!" OMG OMG OMG! This was a very big deal in Pakistani dramas, okay? Ha ha. Lyrics (by Faiz) as follows:
Raat yoon dil mein teri khoee hui yaad aaye
Jaise veeraane mein chhupke se bahaar aa jaaye;
Jaise sehraaon mein haule se chale baad-e-naseem;
Jaise beemaar ko be-wajhaa qaraar aa jaaye

5. Style Statement: Dhoop Kinaray oozes in sophistication and style, whether it's sartorial or cultural or verbal. Class will tell, is what I always say.
The clothes the characters wear in this series were the height of fashion then. I promise, they were. Our family (and all salwar-kameez wearing folk everywhere I suppose) always used to take the lead from PTV's contemporary dramas in terms of fashion trends. What they wore, we wore. (This is not true anymore. What they wear on PTV nowadays, I could never wear. Too little textile used and full length salwars and sleeves seem to be a thing of the past. But wait! This is neither here nor there.)
And then the depiction of family life, the tehzeeb, the beauty of well-spoken Urdu, the shaairi mixed in with everyday dialogue - most endearing about Pakistani dramas...
Even the hair styles, yes, even them! They were oh-so-cool back then. (Coincidentally, I had Zoya Khan's boy-cut all my girlhood days. Also known as the Princess Diana cut. *blush*)

Anyway. To cut a long story short, Dhoop Kinaray is aces. Those of you who haven't watched, start downloading all episodes from YouTube or just go to the many online sources and buy the original DVD. Absolutely worth it, since it's so cheap. About USD 20 or so.

When I look at the tripe that calls itself 'drama' on channels today (especially Indian tele-serials.... gaaah!...) laughing alone does not satisfy. I need to point AND laugh. Which I do, before changing channels very, very fast.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Drop the Prefix, I’m Just Muslim

Drop the Prefix, I’m Just Muslim
Very good article I was given the link to by Skinny.

(Posted using ShareThis)

PS: Hilarious change of ads on my blog suddenly. After the last post, it was Kashmir and holidays... Now Google is linking to sites giving special tips on converting to Islam. (Who converts based on a website ad? Hmmm. I am very interested in this phenomenon.)

Friday, October 30, 2009

The 'Presenting.....' Series

Have found perfect overdramatic animation-type pic to manipulate objects of admiration henceforth and make them mine... I am so kicked.

For example...Saab presents her latest 'friend' to the public. She found him one evening emerging from the ocean like so many Bo Dereks or Daniel Craigs. Saab was randomly taking a vacation in the Bahamas when fortuituously, this dream popped out of the water directly in her line of sight. The rest, as we know, is tabloid history.

Said eye candy's name is AK, which initials are coincidentally a very common occurrence in J&K, though in completely different scenarios.

See what I mean?


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

As Sir Iqbal kept trying to remind us.

The most striking feature of Islam is the equality of all human beings before God. At least this is what it started out as back in the good old days when Islam used to be Islam and the rot we see today hadn't seeped in.

Found a few pertinent lines of Allama (Scholar) Sir Mohd Iqbal's poetry [from his controversial Shikwa (Complaint)], which brings home this idea:

Aaa gaya aen-ladaai mein agar waqt-e-namaaz,
Qiblah-ruh ho ke zameen-bos hui qawm-e-Hijaz;
Ek hi saff mein khade ho gaye Mehmood-o-Ayaz,
Na koi bandah raha aur na koi bandah-nawaz;
Bandaho-sahibo-mohtaajo-ghani ek huay
Teri sarkaar mein pahunchay, toh sabhi ek huay.

If the time for prayer right during the battle fell,
Their faces turned to the Kaa'bah, in prostration the brave Hejaz fell.
Mahmud and Ayaz stood together in the same flank,
The ruler and the slave forgot the difference in their rank.
The slave and the master, the poor and the rich , all became one!
On arrival in Thy audience all were reduced to one!

Towards the end of his Shikwa, Iqbal makes an appeal to Allah for the Ummah:

Mushkilen ummat-e-marhoom ki aasaan kar de,
Moor-e-be'maya ko hamdosh-e-Sulaiman kar de,
Jins-e-nayab-e-mohabbat ko phir arzaan kar de,
Hind kay dair-nasheenon ko Musalmaan karde.
Joo-e-khoon mi chakad az, hasrat-e-derina-e mau
Mee tapad naala ba nestar kada-e-seena-e-mau!

(Make easy the difficulties of the blessed Ummah,
Place the poor ant shoulder to shoulder with Sulaiman,
Make the invaluable produce of Love accessible again,
Change the idolatrous Muslims of India into Muslims again.
A stream of blood drips from the frustrations mine
Wailing palpitates in the wounded breast of mine!)

Too much only. Especially the weaving of Farsi with Urdu. Without the English translation I would be lost.

Incidentally, Iqbal’s ancestors were Sapru Kashmiri Brahmins. I did not know this! I will now shamelessly claim him for my own...

Allama Iqbal's 'Lab Pa Aati Hai Dua'

This most famous nazm of the great poet Allama Iqbal is a very common prayer in many Indian and Pakistani schools. Haji Public School, Breswana, is no exception. Unlike most of Iqbal's poetry, this is in really simple, beautiful Urdu, easy for everyone to understand.

Here's a preferred rendition by some kid called Siza Roy. Lyrics with translation provided in the YouTube video.

PS: Must make special mention of my kids who absolutely do not follow this tune. They have their own take on the music that should accompany this prayer.:)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Coming Soon...

Many pics. Many, many pics from recently concluded travels and visit to the school. Sample above.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Happy Birthday, Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde (16 October 1854 – 30 November 1900)Some funnies from the man:

1. I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.

2. Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.

3. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

4. Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

5. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

That Jan Moir Article

The original Daily Mail article here.

The clever satire on same article here on The Daily Quail, as it were.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Stupidity... A thing of the past?

Finally got down to it today.
Finished papers, so was glad of that.
Ran downstairs, procured basic tools and....A short while later...
New plug aesthetically in place, looking pretty and all. See before and after shot.
Visitors to my room are now at least safe on one front.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Agony Aunt counsels BJP

Agony Aunt counsels BJP

Great link from
Suggest you subscribe to them.

They don't update too often; their excuse: "Angelina Jolie has pledged to adopt a child everytime we update this site. So we update sparingly."

Monday, September 21, 2009

I'm Buzzed. Notes on Electrocution.

Electrocution or Beheading? My vote goes to beheading, and I'll tell you why...

It was 4 AM-ish on one of the last days of Ramadan. Groggy-eyed, foggy-headed, I was heading downstairs for Sehri when I noticed my overnight downloads were complete and decided to turn off the computer. Shutdown accomplished, I reached out in the dark to turn off the main switch and.... ZARKING PHOTONS!!!!! Five horrible seconds of unbelievable agony and whatnot as the open wire (shitbums!) caught my finger and something went "Bzzzzzz" inside my brain for what seemed like forever. My finger was the unfortunate victim and, in tandem with my arm, was in pain for the whole day.

Have you ever been personally involved in an electrifying experience? It is not pleasant, let me assure you.
It begins as a teeny-tiny vibrating tug and suddenly WHAM! Try as you might, you cannot pull yourself away from the source of electricity. And none of that nonsense life-flashing-before-your-eyes stuff happens. It's all expletives and terror and pain, pain, pain. And "How the hell do I get away from this?"
Had it not been for That Special Someone up there who yanked me off the electric tug in time, I would have been late for Sehri and my parents would have been assailed with the unpleasant odour of Barbecue a la Saab. That would have definitely ruined Eid for them.
A moment's silence for my poor finger which was treated most abominably, and bears burn marks even today, days after the incident..... Ever so often I wake up at night sweating profusely and reliving the horror of those moments when I nigh lost my life. (That last part is made up, hyperbole and exaggeration. I just get occasional twinges of reminders from said finger. Ouch.)

Eeeks. Here is grainy shot of my Giver of Pain. I had been meaning to attach a three-pin plug holder to the damn culprit for ages now and of course still not got around to it. Instead, in a classic case of irony it got around to me.

Now, here's the thing. If a little jolt for a mere five seconds can have this effect on me (and I am NOT one of those namby-pamby girls whose lower lip trembles if she so much as scrapes her knee. I can take a good beating and in fact have done so many times as a child...), what horrors for a person in an electric chair, at the receiving end of far stronger wallops of wattage, having to suffer it till his brain is fried? It's all about extrapolation.

Ergo, when it comes to a more humane way of doing away with unwantable elements, I am all for beheading as instant and less painful.

(Please don't start with "CAPITAL PUNISHMENT IS WRONG". That's nonsense. I for one don't understand why sexual offenders and child molesters aren't done away with immediately. And in public. Bah!)

Thesis concludes.

(Personal painful experience and a little imagination goes a long way.)

PS: Still haven't fixed plug.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Footballers and Thumbs

Manchester United warming up. In all their thumbs' glory.

So, while going through (stealing) pics for compiling my various 'Celeb Look Alikes' post, I was reminded of a quaint little habit amongst the world's footballers. Viz. jogging with their thumbs up. So cute.
This is especially noticeable on match nights when after a ferocious offense, the players then fall back, jogging or backtracking slowly to their side of the pitch.
See, here you will find some photographic evidences, which I unearthed during my research.

Wayne Rooney

Fernando Torres

Michael Ballack
And many others. Please keep your eyes open for this behaviour henceforth. Highly amusing. Sports is filled with wonder.

Oooh. Speaking of thumbs up. Couldn't resist: AKKI. Coming soon Khatron Ke Khiladi - Season 2.
What can I say? I like the guy.
I. Kid. You. Not.

Even More Celeb Lookalikes...

1. Jo-Wilfried Tsonga and Muhammad Ali

2. Adrian Grenier (Vince on Entourage) and Pistol Pete:

3. Divya Bharti (remember her?) and Sridevi (who doesn't?):
4. Andy Garcia and Dimitar Berbatov:5. Jim Caviezel and Eric Roberts:

I won't bother mentioning that painful new actress Sneha Ullal and the painful old one Aishwarya Rai.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

More Celeb Lookalikes...

Here are more! Whee, what fun.

1. Matt Damon-Mark Wahlberg-Michael Ballack: Verrry obvious

2. Then: Debra Messing (of 'Will and Grace') and Pooja Batra (of.... err, of some Hindi fillums. That very good one with Anil Kapoor and Tabu where she is unceremoniously cast off as the foreign gal.)I know. Scary, isn't it?

3. Then: Aleem Dar and Waqar Younis: HALLO! This is on par scary with Helen and Leelee, as well as Debra-Pooja.

4. Next up we have Salman Ahmed from Junoon and Oded Fehr, the hot Medjai guy in The Mummy. Oh ho, see below.

5. Last one I remembered for today: Shannen 'Brenda Walsh' Doherty and apni Rani Mukerjee

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Celeb Lookalikes

Apart from the obvious estranged father and son jodi, George Bush and Ricky Ponting, here are a few celebrities off the top off my head who totally look like one another. With suggested roles if ever cast together. Why hasn't it happened yet?

1. Brad Pitt and Benicio Del Toro: As hunky brothers

2. Rachel Weisz, Preity Zinta, Vyjantimala: Vyjanti-ji being mother and having one numbers desi legit girl child (Preity), and one numbers illegit firang girl child (Rachel).

3. Helen Hunt and Leelee Sobieski: Mother-daughter. (They're so similar it's creepy.)

4. Jack Black, Philip Seymour Hoffman: Brothers

5. Diane Lane and Jennifer Lopez: Seriously. Sisters.
Or cousins. Or aunt-niece, depending on makeup.

6. Robert Downey Jr and Javier Bardem: Be still my beating heart. Brothers.

7. Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts: They do look like one another, they do. It's not just the Aussie thing. Anyway, they could be sisters or something.
(Nicole has to stop the botox. She'll start looking like Renee Zellweger soon, the way the both of them are going.)

I'm pretty sure there's many more I can't remember just yet. It will come to me. In the meanwhile, please feel free to suggest.